


Stillness

by Jennifer-Oksana (JenniferOksana)



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Ficlet, Force Ghosts, M/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-16 01:40:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5808361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenniferOksana/pseuds/Jennifer-Oksana





	Stillness

In the end, once he finds a small house to subsist in, and begins his training, he cannot find a still place. All he can think of is Anakin. Anakin the betrayer, Anakin the Sith Lord, Anakin who failed him as much as he failed Anakin.

He cannot meditate. He can only think of Anakin's betrayal. And regret. And resent.

Enlightenment comes to him one afternoon, listening to the tinker woman who trades up and down the desert and her husband squabble over the girl he was manhandling the night before.

It is not that Anakin went to the Dark Side, exactly. It is that Anakin closed him out of a part of his soul, the place where he held Padme, and then claimed Obi-Wan was turning the girl against him.

That there were secrets between them, that burns. That there was a lover in those secrets, that turns everything to jealousy.

Obi-Wan Kenobi is jealous that he could not share in all his apprentice's secrets. Obi-Wan has failed, not only as a teacher, but as a Jedi, to find that secret within him so late.

"It is a difficult thing," Qui-Gon says then. "The bond between master and student. I failed you, Obi-Wan, in that I took so much joy in our relationship that I could not teach you that even things of great delight may lead us astray."

Obi-Wan turns. "Master."

"Even now," and Qui-Gon sighs as though he is very tired, "I cannot deny that it is good to see you again. And I sense that you are equally glad to see me again."

"I am," Obi-Wan says. "And I will not regret that. There is too much else..."

Qui-Gon smiles. "I understand. But seek to understand, my beloved friend," and there is a fractional emphasis on the word beloved, "How that gladness is a shadow of greed, and how to let that go."

"I will, Master. But first, I will exist in this moment," and Obi-Wan has learned a **few** things in his years as a Jedi Master, "And say only that I have missed you. Deeply."


End file.
